Introduction 1
Part 1: Defining Personal Boundaries 5
Chapter 1: Creating Order, Safety, and Protection with Boundaries 7
Chapter 2: Knowing What Boundaries Aren’t 29
Chapter 3: Exploring Privacy, Secrecy, and Intimacy 43
Part 2: Understanding the Need for Boundaries 63
Chapter 4: Appreciating the Ways That Boundaries Improve Your Life 65
Chapter 5: Setting Boundaries: It’s a Learned Skill 79
Chapter 6: Managing Resistance and Pushback: Good Boundaries Won’t Make You Popular 97
Chapter 7: Knowing When You Need to Create a Boundary 117
Part 3: Exploring the Types of Boundaries and How They Work 141
Chapter 8: Physical Boundaries: Who Can Get Close to You and Your Physical Possessions 143
Chapter 9: Sexual Boundaries: Yes and No Are Complete Sentences 155
Chapter 10: Boundaries for Speaking: Filtering Your Thoughts before Sharing Them 177
Chapter 11: Boundaries for Listening: The Mother of All Boundaries 197
Chapter 12: Nonnegotiable Boundaries 215
Part 4: Creating Personal Boundaries 223
Chapter 13: Step 1: Know What Isn’t Working 225
Chapter 14: Step 2: Get Clear about Your Reality 237
Chapter 15: Step 3: Clarify Your Needs and the Outcome You Want 251
Chapter 16: Step 4: See Where You Have Power Before Taking Action 267
Chapter 17: Step 5: Take Action to Create a Boundary 285
Chapter 18: Step 6: Evaluate Your Results and See What Went Wrong 301
Part 5: Figuring Out What to Do When Boundaries Don’t Work 315
Chapter 19: Renegotiating a Broken Agreement 317
Chapter 20: Taking a Boundary to the Next Level: Advanced Skills for Difficult Situations 331
Part 6: The Part of Tens 347
Chapter 21: Ten Out-of-the-Box Options for Extra Protection 349
Chapter 22: Ten Myths about Boundaries 355
Chapter 23: Ten Signs That You Need Professional Help 363
Index 371
