Preface xiv
Testimonials xv
About the Authors xviii
Acknowledgements xx
Introduction 1
1 Credibility to Make a Good Start 2
Overview 2
Think 3
1.1 It Is Based on Others’ Perceptions 3
1.2 Our Credibility as Leaders Requires Followers 3
1.3 Credibility Is Better Built by Actions Rather Than Words 3
1.4 First Impressions Count, so Project Well 4
1.5 First Impressions: Tactics 4
1.6 Credibility Is Fragile 5
Do 5
1.7 Assess the Credibility of Your Key Contacts 5
1.8 Conduct a Personal Audit to Ask: What Will Help or Hinder My Personal Credibility as a Future Leader? 6
1.9 Build the Charisma Factor 6
In a Nutshell: Credibility to Make a Good Start 7
2 Managing Difficult People 8
Overview 9
Think 9
2.1 Difficult People We Encounter 9
2.2 Dealing with Underperformers: We Have to Talk 10
2.2.1 Before the Conversation 11
2.2.2 Find a Private Place 11
2.2.3 Steps in the Conversation 11
2.3 Confronting the Difficult: Dos and Don’ts 12
2.3.1 The Dos of Confrontation 12
2.3.2 And the Don’ts of Confrontation 13
2.4 Dealing with Aggressive Encounters 13
2.5 Avoiding Others’ Manipulative Behaviour 14
2.6 Flattery: Nice to Get but Dangerous to Believe 14
2.7 Sarcasm 15
2.7.1 Sarcasm as Bad Behaviour 15
2.7.2 Choose a Strategy to Address the Sarcasm 16
2.8 Arguments to Win and Lose with Difficult People 16
2.8.1 Avoid Arguments You Can’t Win 16
2.8.2 Remember Your Goal 16
2.8.3 Fight Fair 17
2.8.4 Defend a Weak Position 17
2.9 Disagreement Does Not Have to Be Disagreeable 18
2.9.1 Dangers of Complete Agreement 18
2.9.2 Encourage Debate 18
2.9.3 Value Differences 18
2.9.4 Strategies for Disagreeing and Remaining on Good Terms 18
2.10 Conflict Management and Achieving Win–Win 19
2.10.1 Conflict Is Inevitable 19
2.10.2 Face Up to Conflict Sooner Rather Than Later 19
2.10.3 Listen to Be Listened To 20
2.10.4 Avoid Showdowns 20
2.10.5 Know When to Give In Gracefully 20
2.11 Avoiding the Questions You Don’t Want to Answer 20
Do 21
2.12 Difficult People and What They Might Say about You 21
In a Nutshell: Managing Difficult People 21
3 Focus on Your Priorities 22
Overview 22
Think 23
3.1 Five Things to Think about Concerning Strategy, Planning, and Priorities 23
3.1.1 Work Backwards to Avoid Indiana Jones’s Bad Strategic Move 23
3.1.2 First Things First: Create Urgency for Importance 24
3.1.3 The Law of Sunk Costs 25
3.1.4 Avoid the Sweet Spot 26
3.1.5 Manage the Dream and Make the Finish Line Nearer 26
Do 27
3.2 The Future World 27
3.3 The Vision Test 28
3.4 Log Your Time to Check Your Productivity 28
In a Nutshell: Direction to Focus Priorities 29
4 Values for Leadership Practice 31
Overview 31
Think 32
4.1 Words That Indicate There May Be a Problem 32
4.2 Four Simple Tests 33
4.3 A Personal Code of Ethics 33
4.4 Ego: Our Best Friend and Worst Enemy 34
4.5 Avoiding the Stupid Stuff 35
4.6 Preference Isn’t Principle 35
Do 35
4.7 Know Why You Believe What You Do 35
4.8 Key Figures in Your Life 36
4.9 A Principled Practice 36
In a Nutshell: Values for Leadership Practice 36
5 Building and Maintaining Trust 37
Overview 37
Think 38
5.1 Trust Is the Trigger of Leadership Reality 38
5.2 A Lack of Trust Is Costly 39
5.3 The Rules of Trust 39
5.4 Small Decencies Make a Difference 40
5.5 Trust Creates a Culture of Openness and Honesty 40
5.6 Value Differences 41
5.7 But Know Who to Trust and Avoid 41
Do 41
5.8 Me and Trust 41
5.9 Forgive 42
5.10 The Shoes of Your Clients or Colleagues 42
In a Nutshell: Building Trust and Maintaining It 42
6 Raising Energy Levels 43
Overview 43
Think 44
6.1 Managing Our Personal Energy 44
6.2 Surviving or Succeeding: Five Life Outlooks 44
6.3 The Energy Paradox 46
6.4 Our Comfort Zone and Getting Out of It 46
6.5 Keep Something in Reserve 46
6.6 Sell the Steak, Not the Sizzle 47
6.7 Running Out of Juice 47
Do 48
6.8 Do Something You Don’t Want to Do 48
6.9 Change Your Socks 48
In a Nutshell: Raising Your Energy Level 48
7 Feedback to Keep on Track 50
Overview 50
Think 51
7.1 Break the Mirror 51
7.2 Learning from Failure 52
7.3 Giving Feedback That Others Value 52
7.3.1 Ineffective Feedback 53
7.3.2 How Is as Important as What 53
7.4 Praise and Keep Praising 53
7.5 Excessive Praise 53
7.6 Too Much Truth 54
7.7 Two People Who Tell the Truth 54
Do 54
7.8 Set the Egg Timer 54
7.9 Feedforward Rather Than Feedback 55
7.10 Ten Reasons for Failure 55
In a Nutshell: Feedback to Keep on Track 56
8 Courage for When It Gets Tough 57
Overview 57
Think 58
8.1 To Lead Is to Live Dangerously 58
8.2 To LEAD Is to Overcome Adversity 59
8.3 The 50th Law: When Fear Isn’t in the Driving Seat 59
8.4 Managing Minor Adversity Well 60
8.5 The Laws of Confrontation 61
8.5.1 The Dos 61
8.5.2 And the Don’ts 61
Do 62
8.6 Manage a Conflict Situation by Having a Difficult Conversation 62
8.7 Manage Fear 63
8.8 Fear and FASTER 63
In a Nutshell: Courage for When It Gets Tough 64
9 Influence and Persuasion 65
Overview 66
Think 66
9.1 Do You Make Others Feel Special? 66
9.2 Understanding Others: The Realities of Human Nature 66
9.3 Influencing When You’re Not in Authority 67
9.4 Shift Others’ Opinions 68
9.5 The 90–10 Rule of Negotiation 69
9.6 The Science of Influence and the Psychology of Persuasion 69
9.7 Five Reasons to Keep Conversations Simple 70
9.8 The Nine Opening Lines of any Effective Conversation 70
9.9 Questions That Don’t Work 71
9.10 Using Charm Without Overdoing It 72
Do 73
9.11 How ‘Sticky’ Is Your Communication? 73
9.12 Analyse Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ Speech 73
9.13 Influencing Tactics 74
In a Nutshell: Influence and Persuasion 74
10 Working with Teams 75
Overview 75
Think 76
10.1 Teamwork: Why Teams Succeed and Fail 76
10.2 Teamwork: The Rules 77
10.3 Avoiding the Role of Team Problem Solver 77
10.4 The Sum of Its Parts 78
10.5 The Groupthink of Teamwork 78
10.6 Working in Diverse Teams 79
10.7 Managing Team Conflict 80
10.8 Turnaround Strategies 80
10.9 Build an Extended Team 81
Do 82
10.10 Your Team Style 82
10.11 How a Team Develops 82
10.12 Build a Team for Life 83
In a Nutshell: Working with Teams 83
11 Change to Implement Excellence 84
Overview 84
Think 85
11.1 Thinking like Leonardo da Vinci 85
11.2 The Soil of Innovation 85
11.3 Where Change Starts 86
11.4 The Language of Change: 20- 60-20 86
11.5 Begin with the Bright Spots 87
11.6 Speak to the Elephant as Well as the Rider 87
Do 88
11.7 How Good Is Good? 88
11.8 Develop a T- Shaped Mind 88
11.9 From What to What? 89
In a Nutshell: Change to Implement Excellence 89
12 Recognising Personality Types 90
Overview 90
Think 91
12.1 The Realities of Human Nature 91
12.2 Three Levels of Knowing Someone 91
12.3 A Simple Lens of Human Understanding 92
12.4 Reading Personality – One Good Question 93
12.5 Personality and Its Impact on Communication 94
Do 95
12.6 Who I Need to Understand but Don’t 95
12.7 Personality and Team Dynamics 95
In a Nutshell: Recognising Personality Types 96
13 Get Fluent in Body Language 97
Overview 98
Think 98
13.1 Five Myths about Body Language 98
13.1.1 Body Language is 93 Percent of Communication 98
13.1.2 Liars Don’t Make Eye Contact 98
13.1.3 Crossed Arms Mean Resistance 98
13.1.4 Eye Direction Correlates with Lying 99
13.1.5 Using Body Language to Make a Positive Impression is Inauthentic 99
13.2 The Body Language of Trust and Respect 99
13.3 The Body Language of the Alpha Leader 99
13.4 The 15 Most Common Body Language Blunders 100
13.5 How to Smile 101
13.6 Body Language and Cultural Differences 101
13.7 Lying 102
13.8 Context Is Critical 103
Do 103
13.9 How Well Do You Read Other People? 103
13.10 Tactics for More Effective Body Language 104
In a Nutshell: Get Fluent in Body Language 104
14 Be Assertive 105
Overview 106
Think 106
14.1 Is Your Thinking Unassertive? 106
14.2 Overcoming Shyness 107
14.3 Having a Thick or Thin Skin: Dealing with Criticism 108
14.3.1 Most Criticism Indicates Progress 108
14.3.2 Think Like Buddha 109
14.4 Avoiding Embarrassment 109
14.4.1 Get Past the Point of Embarrassment 109
14.4.2 You’re Rarely in the Spotlight 109
14.4.3 Those Who Matter and Those Who Mind 110
14.5 Managing Those Moments of Anxiety 110
14.6 Managing Mistakes as an Indicator of Assertiveness 111
14.6.1 Mistakes Indicate Progress 111
14.6.2 Admit Honest Mistakes 111
14.6.3 Some Mistakes Matter More Than Others 111
14.6.4 Don’t Make the Mistake Worse 112
14.7 Assertiveness as the Art of the Apology 112
14.8 How to Project Well 113
14.8.1 The 4 Ps 113
14.8.2 Voice Tips 113
14.9 Fundamentals of Presentations 113
14.9.1 Avoid Obvious Mistakes 114
14.9.2 Prepare for Presentations 114
14.9.3 Know Your Topic in Detail 114
14.9.4 Speak with Power 114
14.9.5 Simplicity 115
14.9.6 End Well 115
Do 115
14.10 How to Be Assertive 115
In a Nutshell: Be Assertive 116
Index 117
